sure ill get off the internet mom

(Source: rengehoushakuji)

boygrimlark:

scout-ebubbles:

docot:

freddybenson:

leovaldezstyle:

freddybenson:

A

B

C

the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours

D

E

megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

foodchewer:

*hides good snacks from family members*

i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul

(Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight)

jesusfreakinglucifer:

i think everyone has that one phrase that we all use ironically but then after a while it just becomes completely unironic like i used hot diggity once as a joke and now i say it all the time im telling you ironic phrases are like gateway drugs to being openly mocked 

(Source: wallylives)

obsessedfangirlwithablog:

post-elevator-us:

edgeofboring:

pepsicock:

purplepanda1999:

dad and mom

treat or trick

josh and drake

cheese and mac

stop that thank you

jelly and peanut butter

George and Fred

white and black

Juliet and Romeo

This is the most uncomfortable post on tumblr

Roll & rock

spice and sugar

Ashley and Mary-Kate

I read these normally and then realized they are all backward like what even

later and now

(Source: weepingdemon)

kankrivantas:

do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person

genocidercyo:

clockey:

you’re the window to my wall

you’re the sweat that drips down my balls